Saturday, December 19, 2015

War on M-Isis

Senior officer in reflective mood 

Kinch court-towers-manor-on the wold-in the glen and over the rainbow was subject to a terrorist attack yesterday which has shocked pundits.

The attack which came from nowhere occurred while Mrs Kinch was decorating the tree in the front room. Fortunately there were no casualties, though Mrs Kinch was obliged to have a sit down and a cup of tea.

The attack has been condemned as a shocking security breach as Colonel Sir Harry Flashman VC was quite literally asleep at the scene. Initial reports seemed to indicate German nihilists were behind it, but further investigation revealed the true culprit.


Footage of suspect. 

Gentlemen, we are at war with M-Isis.

UPDATE: The culprit has been found and according to some reports, eaten. This last move may be problematic regarding article 3 of the ECHR.

Investigation into the breach is ongoing. Security forces have surrounded a bucket in the shed. But no further details have yet been released.  Though it has been confirmed that Flashman will be liaising with next doors dog in order to share information on M-Isis.

A move which some rodent liberties experts have described as "deeply troubling".

More news when we invent it.


18 comments:

  1. Love it! Hope Mrs. Kinch has recovered by this point.

    Best Regards,

    Stokes

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    Replies
    1. She is made of sterner stuff. There is something of the Sybil Vimes in Mrs Kinch.

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  2. Col. Stanley of the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mangy Pussycats) is ready to provide technical advice. Or we could send you the Fell Catbeast of Mordor).

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    Replies
    1. We may have to have an expertise exchange.

      I think there was another skirmish this morning by the sound of it.

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  3. Conrad Kinch,

    We had a similar M-Isis incursion last week, but JAZZ (Joint Attack Zombie Zoid), our CAT (Close Attack Trainee), managed to corner the M-Isis intruder, who was subsequently captured and returned - unharmed - to his natural environment.

    Be alert, be very alert; the West needs Lerts!

    All the best,

    Bob

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    Replies
    1. Mrs Kinch is also partial to the odd lert.

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  4. We have had two M-ISIS this month:
    -the first, 'middle class mouse', lived behind the skirting in the kitchen and dined on dried prunes until he fell into our dastardly (humane) trap.
    -the second 'upstairs mouse' made a nest in the unwrapped Christmas presents, feasted on high-end chocolates and slippers before a (not remotely) hilarious pursuit at 1030pm on a Sunday leading to his capture in a bucket.

    The cat, purportedly an expert mouser, failed us on both of them and is going to be retrained as a lap-cat.

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  5. I hate to say it, Old Bean, but where there is one mouse, there are usually several more.

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    Replies
    1. Something we are learning to our cost.

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  6. I find it hard to take sides on this one.

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  7. we need to find out how M-Isis radicalizes impressionable young rodents.

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  8. Hmmm That looks rather like a Hamster to me. I suspect fear mongering to score political points.

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  9. I'm with Ross. You're conflating an extremist fringe with all of rodent culture.

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