Ducks on their way to a date with destiny
Some of you may recall that I had a clear out of the War Room some time ago and offered a Roman Villa free to a good home. There were several interested parties, but I decided that the prize should go to the fastest gun. Unfortunately, I forgot to specify whether this was the fastest gun to leave a comment on my blog or the fastest gun to leave a comment on TMP. The result was that I had two parties both of whom were morally equally entitled to consider themselves the victor.
They were Rosbif and James.
Here at Joy and Forgetfulness, we respect tradition. We value continuity and stability. So it was important that this difficult question be settled in a manner fitting the solemnity of the occasion. Consequently, I decided that we would settle this matter as our forefathers would have done.
By shooting a NERF gun at rubber ducks.
A NERF gun - an elegant weapon for a more civilized age
You will observe the NERF gun before me, it carries six foam darts. The ducks which are sitting on the arm of my favourite chair have been marked underneath with stickers. Mrs Kinch kindly added a sticker to the base of each duck bearing the letters "US" or "OZ". She did this without my knowledge so that I could open fire safe in the knowledge that I was entirely ignorant of which ducks were Aussies and which were Yankees.
The first casualties fall
The idea being that the last duck standing would take the prize for his home country. You'll have to forgive me for the poor quality of these shots, but they were snapped on my Iphone camera after I returned from a dinner party. Mrs Kinch and I has spent a very pleasent evening with some good friends, though I dined rather well. Consquently I was not quite as handy with either gun or camera as I might normally be.
A Cowboy duck - marked US unsurprisingly
The final round clips the toy soldier duck and knocks him off the arm of the chair
I called a halt at this moment, firstly because though toy soldier duck remained standing, he had been hit and Bigglesworth duck had not. Secondly, I had fired all six shots and I would have had to go upstairs to get more ammunition.
Bigglesworth duck - marked US
The flash has really blown out the white of the label here - but the label is marked US rather than OZ, so the villa will be heading to the United States rather than the antipodes.
No ducks were harmed in the writing of this blog.