I wish to hereby make a statement of my guilt. I do this freely and without any previous torture, especially not torture involving punches in the arms or threats that I be taught to play "Flames of War".
It is without doubt true that I am and have long been an agent of the Judeo-Christian-Trotsky-Fascists. I have foully and wantonly brought Public Holidays into disrepute and sabotaged all attempts to keep "Collective Blog Number 417: Joy & Forgetfulness" about the wargaming.
It has been brought home to me that Easter is just another public holiday, the transcendent joy that I felt yesterday was nothing but an illusion and that this blog has drifted dangerously from the right path.
There have been drunken duels with firearms, the possibly felonious impersonation of an official of the Third (or possibly the Fourth) Republic and unwholesome activities involving hats.
My crimes speak for themselves and I can only await condign punishment.
I took my orders directly from Lord Trotsky Siegfried Von Jesusovitz decoded in a series of YouTube Videos altered to ensure the counter-revolutionary subtext would be subtly obscured and only visible to the initiated. Other times, I took my directions, each more counter-revolutionary than the last, from mecha-hitler and the Mad Monk of the Frozen North.
All of these accusations I acknowledge.
However, I must refute the allegation that I was the one who ok'd the movie "The Lovers Guide: Don't Roll a One Edition" for general release. Even a criminal such as I could not do that without a chill of the spine.
I humbly throw myself on the judgement of the court. I ask for no clemency as I know I do not deserve it. However, it is important that I draw to the attention of the collective to those within its ranks whose disgusting activities must stamped out.
Comrade Rob Dean has been wantonly undermining the great wargaming dream for many years, including in his blog vile images of his "children", "ball room dancing" and so called "bread". I only rejoice that my denunciation will led to the end of this madness.
Comrade Chasseur is an even more dangerous criminal, because while his blog is superficially "..about the wargaming..", he pollutes its noble purity with "book reviews" and some patriarchial nonsense called, "Fathers Day."
Comrade Itinerant is another superficially model comrade. He blogs about wargaming almost exclusively - but lo! What is this? Here we find several posts worthy of attention, "Charity Water" and "Trademarks" . Mark my words Comrades, this is only the tip of the iceberg and conceals a vaster conspiracy.
Comrade Prometheus in Aspic was one of the ring leaders of our Counter-Revolutionary orgies of excess and idolatry. Not only does he frequently blog about about "Hooptedoodle" and "Justin Bieber", but in our private counciles he...well I will spare the court the pure indecency of this monster's thoughts.
"Lady" AlFront, a notorious drunk and transvestite, this former worker is now under the
thumb of capitalists and ravagers of worker's women. Fascist leanings and a self confessed inability to tell
right from left show this man to be a distinct danger. This viper in human form lures innocent bloggers to his blog with posts about wargaming and then jams the knife of "gardening" , "book reviews" and crime upon crimes, "christmas", into their defenceless backs.
Finally, I turn to the most foul and deceptive creature I have ever met. In my long career of infamy I have never seen such nausea inducing political corruption as that which pours forth as bile from the creature I name below.
Comrade Cordery , feared even amongst Judeo-Christian-Fascist-Menshevik circles, this man poses a severe risk to children and livestock. He has been known for many years as a decrepit and debauched rakehell and gadabout, whose Portable Wargame is nothing more than a front to deceive upright Comrade into reading his crazed diatribes on "Detective Fiction" and "Airsoft."
But though I have grown old in evil and am long schooled in treachery, nothing prepared me for the sheer gut wrenching atrocity of his manifesto, "What I did on my holidays"
Would that I could but kiss the bullet that frees me from his foul clutches.
As my final words know that I shall curse the very earth onto which this foul being was spilled.
As my final act, I ask that all these criminals named above be treated appropriately by the Blogging Collective.
Joy & Forgetfulness will cease publication forthwith,
Collective Blog Number 417: Joy & Forgetfulness will continue in its stead.
(with grovelling apologies to Dr. Alex O'Connor)
NOTE: This post was meant for yesterday, but was not posted due to me being an incompetent boob who went out for drinks on his birthday without checking first.